Last night I had this dream where I was at the opening of a five-story Footlocker, like the athletic goods store not that thing that we would now call a trunk if we assume that you're not old-timey or maybe in the military.
So anyway there was this little girls choir singing and waiting for the guests of honor to arrive and these honored guests were late because it was past 1am. And I was like, who's letting these kids stay out so late, irresponsible fucking par--and then suddenly it all made sense because an entourage flanking Oprah was coming down the escalator to the lower level where we were. Everyone hugged her and I asked for a high-five which she happily obliged. Then I turned and Martha Stewart and a sort-of similiar-ish person who might have been Paula Deen were also standing within arms reach of me. That's when Martha Stewart left me hanging, because she doesn't touch other people's hands.
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that's because she only touches people when she is throwing a chair at them
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